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Know the feeling when you hear a ridiculous statement or opinion that makes you want to rip your hair out and pray for humanity?
I used to get offended easily by perspectives that conflicted with my own. I would try to see and appreciate the new perspective, but couldn’t. But what is an opinion anyway?
An opinion is just an individual’s model of the world.
Making the Shift
It isn’t logical that another person’s opinion should ever cause so much emotion in ourselves.
Here’s an idea: what if instead of immediately judging the opinion, we shifted to a place of fascination?
If we were to only surround ourselves with people that share similar viewpoints, it would be like living on a tiny island with a small tribe. The truth is, our opinions come from what we value and care about.
I’ve shifted from trying to understand or accept a person’s opinion (a big task), to just attempting to be fascinated by it. That fascination may eventually lead to an understanding. That understanding can create a lot of magic in your life.
This lead to a big epiphany: if you’re being affected by someone’s opinion — it’s not their fault — it’s yours.
I hate to be the one to share this news with you, but it has nothing to do with them. This is happening because you’re overvaluing something, and we all have one thing we value above all else (whether it be security, our identity, or even violence).
That trigger that occurs isn’t happening to you, it’s being created by you. And shifting from a place of judgement to a perspective of fascination makes life (and people) really, really exciting.
Yes, even opinions that are different on this very topic. If you disagree with the idea in the post, my goal would be to become fascinated and intrigued as to why. But let’s be clear, some people just suck and don’t deserve your attention. But I’m sure you don’t suck.
Why This Matters
You should use this in your work as a solopreneur, your online business, and even your relationships. If you build this skill, you will learn how to speak your prospect’s language, build relationships with dynamically different people, and even influence people as a leader.
This is how to connect with anyone, anywhere, and live a fascinating life. The reality is, this is a leadership skill.
A true leader knows that it’s not their opinion that matters most. The best ones surround themselves with people smarter than themselves, and empower them to make decisions that align with their vision and mission.
Use this on a day-to-day basis and not only will you have more magic in your life, but you’ll build a valuable skill.
A Good Example
A good example of this is when something bad happens that affects a large group of people, like a natural disaster or war. Every single person in the world remembers where they were and how they felt, the morning of September 11th, 2001.
Every single person has their own opinion on this event. It’s that opinion which gives it a meaning, and that meaning which creates the experience. Realizing that we all naturally give things meaning — and this meaning creates our reality — is a powerful understanding.
The next time I decide to judge someone, I’ll remind myself that it could be me in that person’s shoes. Who rolled the dice to decide where, when, and to who I was born?
Until we can answer that question, let’s keep an open mind toward one another. And top it off with some fascination…
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic. Yes, even if they’re different than my own…